The good ol' well woman exam is Monday, the 28th. As the date gets closer I am in turmoil on how to respond to the NP when she asks me if I have anything I want to discuss. At the back of my mind is the pregnancy issue. Last year I finally got the nerve up to ask her for blood work to test my progesterone level. My participation on infertility/TTC forums led me to inquire about my hormone level. Much reading and self-education led me to believe that I was low on progesterone. Low progesterone affects the luteal phase as well as the uterine lining. Since I've been charting my cycles, I've determined that my LP is on average 9-10 days long with lately it being more like 8-9. My uterine lining, I believe is not building up enough to provide the optimum cushy environment for a fertilized egg to implant. I suspect this true by the amount of menstrual flow I've been having.
From last years appointment to this one coming up, I had my progesterone level tested on CD 21 and it was either .06 or 6. I'm not 100% positive about that number because I didn't ask her to repeat herself over the phone because I was upset that the solution she mentioned immediately was Clomid. All I knew was that the number was low. I didn't want to take Clomid because of the risk of multiples and because I didn't want to put something synthetic in my body. So I started working with a Chinese Medical Dr/Acupuncturist from Wisconsin. He put together a pre-ovulation and post-ovulation blend of Chinese herbs. I took them from May 1 - August 30 hoping to improve my LP. I started to see improvement but ended up quitting it because I got really frustrated that it wasn't working fast enough, got it in my head that it was going to quit working because I had to go back on my BP med, and it was VERY expensive. Since December I've been using natural progesterone cream that I'm rubbing into my skin during my luteal phase. I'm getting ready to add vitamin B6 to my regimen now.
Now that I'm getting closer to the big 4-0, I'm wanting to find out what my FSH level is. FSH basically tells you if you have any good eggs left and how close you are to menopause. I want to know this because then if the answer is not good, I will be able to convince myself to just give up the dream of a 2nd child. I can get on with my life and I'll be able to stop obsessing about babies. Now all I have to do is get up the nerve and ask for this test. For some reason I'm a chicken when it comes to this. Partly I think because I'm afraid I'm going to be told NO and/or that I need to do all the western medicine stuff I don't want/can't afford to do. And lastly, because of this, be told that I must not want a baby that bad if I won't do X, Y, Z.
Why do I torment myself? Ugh!