DARE Dance

 

Here is one of the few pictures I took. I told you I was shitty at taking pictures. Just standing around as usual.

And We Danced . . .

So G's first dance was this last Friday evening. After receiving almost 10 inches of snow from 12 p.m. Thursday until that morning, and school's being canceled, the dance went on as scheduled. It was our city's DARE graduate dance. I'm not positive but I know it was open to all of Alton's public schools and private schools. How did G like it you ask? Eh - not so much. She said it was boring because most of the kids in her class just wanted to stand around, and "OMG Mom - I wasn't going to be the only one dancing!" Maybe it was because the DJ announced at the beginning of the dance that he would NOT be playing Soldier Boy. That news was met with much grumbling.

For me, personally, I had fun. Fun watching my kid and a few hundred other 9-11 year-olds try to socialize with each other; watching them trying to figure out how they are supposed to act at a dance, watching them scope each other out. It was fun observing the differences of how the girls acted compared to the boys. For the most part, the girls stood around bopping their heads to the music and checking out what everyone was wearing. For the boys, while a very small percentage tried to dance most chased each other around the gym, punching on each other. Yeah, I took a few pictures but didn't end up with as many as I would have like. I could have sworn I took way more pictures than I did but then again, I'm pretty illiterate when it comes to using a digital camera. I forgot my camera this morning so the pictures will have to wait until tomorrow.

My girl is so funny

Sadly, bathroom humor is very big in my household. I know many people think it's disgusting talking about farting, pooping, burping, etc. but that is the way I was raised and how my 3-unit family is now. We are always laughing about that kind of stuff. Well this morning, in efforts to try to head off another grumpy start of her day, I tried to be nice by putting G's school uniform in front of the heater vent to warm up. I don't know what it is about closet but her clothes are always freezing. Anyway, I am sitting on the bed waiting for her to come out of the bathroom so I can help her get dressed. Yes. I am one of those mothers who still have to help their 10 1/2 year old get dressed in the morning. Believe me, it goes much faster that way and it reduces the chance of WW3. So she comes in the room and I say, "G", I tried to warm up your clothes this morning so you wouldn't be so cold." She says, "What did you do mom? Fart on them".

This and That just so I won't get behind

It took at least 45 minutes past my scheduled appointment to be called back to room. This has never happened before. You'd think one of the advantages of seeing a NP instead of the OB/GYN is not having to be pushed back by someone delivering a baby. You'd think the stupid medical assistant would have had a clue why, just why, my blood pressure was a bit elevated. Ugh! Let me just say that I hate dr. office scales! They always weigh me 5-7 lbs heavier than my bathroom scale! Anyway, I chickened out asking for additional tests. Bottom line, I told the NP that I was using progesterone cream in the 2nd half of my cycle and was going to be adding Vitamin B because I knew that my progesterone level was off due to the "light" periods. I reiterated that I still wasn't comfortable with taking synthetic hormones. She told me to let her know when I was and she'd write a RX for the clomid. So the ball is in my court on just how far I am willing to go to have another baby. As it has always been.

Weather in the St. Louis Metropolitan area was crazy yesterday. It reached record breaking temperatures of 73 degree at noon and within 3 hours time, it dropped almost 40 degrees! Freaking crazy! I am so ready for Winter to end and for Spring to coming rushing in like a lion. They are calling for snow to hit by tomorrow night and by the time it is over, 4-6 inches of accumulation. This blows because I just know they will cancel school and that means no DARE dance Friday night. G will be so disappointed. She has her outfit all planned out too. We are supposed to go on a legging and nylon footies hunt tonight in order to complete the ensemble. Let's just say my girl will be going dressed Hanna Montana style. Don't worry - I'm taking lots of pictures.

It's that time of year again

The good ol' well woman exam is Monday, the 28th. As the date gets closer I am in turmoil on how to respond to the NP when she asks me if I have anything I want to discuss. At the back of my mind is the pregnancy issue. Last year I finally got the nerve up to ask her for blood work to test my progesterone level. My participation on infertility/TTC forums led me to inquire about my hormone level. Much reading and self-education led me to believe that I was low on progesterone. Low progesterone affects the luteal phase as well as the uterine lining. Since I've been charting my cycles, I've determined that my LP is on average 9-10 days long with lately it being more like 8-9. My uterine lining, I believe is not building up enough to provide the optimum cushy environment for a fertilized egg to implant. I suspect this true by the amount of menstrual flow I've been having.

From last years appointment to this one coming up, I had my progesterone level tested on CD 21 and it was either .06 or 6. I'm not 100% positive about that number because I didn't ask her to repeat herself over the phone because I was upset that the solution she mentioned immediately was Clomid. All I knew was that the number was low. I didn't want to take Clomid because of the risk of multiples and because I didn't want to put something synthetic in my body. So I started working with a Chinese Medical Dr/Acupuncturist from Wisconsin. He put together a pre-ovulation and post-ovulation blend of Chinese herbs. I took them from May 1 - August 30 hoping to improve my LP. I started to see improvement but ended up quitting it because I got really frustrated that it wasn't working fast enough, got it in my head that it was going to quit working because I had to go back on my BP med, and it was VERY expensive. Since December I've been using natural progesterone cream that I'm rubbing into my skin during my luteal phase. I'm getting ready to add vitamin B6 to my regimen now.

Now that I'm getting closer to the big 4-0, I'm wanting to find out what my FSH level is. FSH basically tells you if you have any good eggs left and how close you are to menopause. I want to know this because then if the answer is not good, I will be able to convince myself to just give up the dream of a 2nd child. I can get on with my life and I'll be able to stop obsessing about babies. Now all I have to do is get up the nerve and ask for this test. For some reason I'm a chicken when it comes to this. Partly I think because I'm afraid I'm going to be told NO and/or that I need to do all the western medicine stuff I don't want/can't afford to do. And lastly, because of this, be told that I must not want a baby that bad if I won't do X, Y, Z.

Why do I torment myself? Ugh!