Friday, September 12, 2008

Excuse me for being gone so long

Once again I have fallen into the habit of being a shitty blogger. What can I say - I've just had too much going on (not necessarily blog-worthy), to keep up. Yet, I still manage to read my favorites. I always have time to read you all. What's been going on, you ask?

1) The pups. We are slowly but surely coming along with them. I'm working on almost 2 weeks of not getting up in the middle of the night to take them out to potty. MIL told me on Labor Day that they should be old enough to hold it so we began that night. There have been less than a handful of accidents, never poop, and I'm okay with that. I wish I could say I'm back to my old sleeping habits but I'm not. I mean, it's definitely better but I still wake up every morning around 3:30-4:00 a.m. and toss and turn until my bladder says, Help! or my alarm goes off. Then by the time I take them out, feed them, and take them back out again so they can poop, because breakfast is a trigger for them, I've got something knocking at my back door and it's time for me to do my morning constitutional. Sorry for the TMI but it is what it is. Our next goal is to work on getting them to let us know they need to go out when we have them in the house with us. Boy! Is that a tough one. Trying to figure out normal puppy sniffing from hey I've got to shit/piss has been fun (NOT).

2) My girl has been back to school for almost 4 weeks now. She seems to be loving the 6th grade. Long gone are the days of no homework on Fridays though. She's been lucky up until now. There have been a couple of issues where she forgot an assignment that was homework. We gave her one oops and then a couple days later she forgot an assignment again, she lost her privilege to play with her friend after school/homework done and checked. Consequences for her actions, ya know. Otherwise, homework time hasn't been too bad. In the past, she and I have had some battles on it and Dad has had to take it over. Usually, I have absolutely NO patience when it comes homework time. She's been pretty cooperative. So far.

3) We decided that we have a lot shit to get rid of and that we are going to have a yard sale. Going through our things and figuring out what we wanted to get rid of, I finally decided that I'm getting rid of all my baby stuff, maternity clothes, etc., and the proceeds will go toward putting in a fence for our pups. Even though I finally came to terms with myself that I'm never going to have another baby it was really hard for me gathering it all together. I broke down and bawled hysterically during the process. I had sent G upstairs to get a large garbage bag for me, she couldn't find where I told her they were at, so I started up the stairs to get it myself and ran into her coming back down stairs. She was all alarmed at my state and asking me what was wrong. I just waved her off because I couldn't talk coherently. I think D told her because when I came back down, she came up to me and gave me a huge hug and kiss. There are a couple of things I will pull out as keepsakes for G but the rest is going. Of course, I've had more than a few people tell me that as soon as I get rid of it all, I'll get a huge surprise. I hate to tell ya, but that kind of stuff doesn't happen to me. I only read about that happening to other people.

4) So have any of you ever been in a situation where you've always been the better friend to your friend? That's me in a nutshell. I've had the same BFF for the last 21 years and we've been through a lot. But the most common theme in our relationship is that I've always been the better friend. I honestly don't think my BFF means to be such a shitty friend but you know what, I'm finally at my wits end and have decided that she can be the one to call me. I'm done calling her. The last time I've spoke to her was the day after we got the pups. I haven't heard shit or shinola from her. Oh, I take that back. My ILs ran into her Labor Day weekend at a block party and she was all, Yeah, I really need to call Susan, and get down to see her puppies. It's just that I've been so busy. Typical excuse that I'm sick of. I actually think I'd be more depressed about this if I didn't have my other friend to talk to. The thing is is that I've never actually met her IRL. I "met" Marsha through an online parenting community we are members of, and we took the plunge maybe 6 months ago and started calling one another. She is usually the one to call me because she has Vonage and it doesn't cost extra, but if we aren't talking on the phone, we are emailing each other. She lives in Texas and I'm in Illinois. One day, I will meet her.

So that's pretty much it. We are having some signs that Autumn is on the way. Yay! It's probably my favorite season. All the orchards around my area reported excellent apple crops so I'm anxious to go apple picking and all the baking that goes with it.

I wish I could say I'll do better with this blogging thing. I've said it before and look where it got me. I hope my little audience that actually reads me understands that I'm a better reader/commenter than blogger.


Zookeeper said...

I feel guilty when there’s a long lapse between posts too. But I have to remind myself that I never set out to be a post-a-day kind of blogger. My blog was started so that out-of-town family and friends could stay informed about my kids. Don’t be too hard on yourself either. I enjoyed the update!

Crazed Mom said...

I totally understand your grief and sadness. It was more difficult to accept we would have no more children than it was to accept Brennan's death. I plan on seeing Brennan again in heaven, those babies never to be I will never meet at all.


MarshaCF said...

Susan! Huge hugs for you, I wish you would have told me you were giving away your baby items, we could have been sad together. I have been getting rid of my things too and it's sad but we talked about ME! Geez, I feel like the shitty friend esp. after you have been listening to me go on and on about Parker being sick.

Thanks for mentioning me though, I feel honored. You rock!

Guinea Pig said...

I'll always want you to blog more. But I'll always wait patiently until you do.

I'm sorry your friend sucks at being a friend. I'm the sucky friend in all my relationships. I don't mean to be. I just don't know how to be different maybe. My mom doesn't have any friends either so it is either genetic or learned but I suck. Plain and simple.

I suggest take what makes you happy from the relationship and let go of the rest.

On a different item: Thank you for reminding me I never ever ever want puppies. NEVER

I know how you feel about that baby thing. It is hard to give up. Even though I have 4 and I'm pulling my hair out, we wanted 5. It is a disappointment. Mostly knowing I can't HANDLE another, you know. It is MY failings. I just can't imagine enduring another.

I wish I could give you your wish. But maybe there is a reason. Maybe you have a different calling coming.

Just know your grief is real and you have every right to work through it however you see fit.